What does success mean for people in their twenties? Am I successful just because I finished my undergraduate degree? Do I not reach success until I complete a graduate program? I’ve been out of school for a year and a half, in the traditional workforce for just over a year, and I can’t seem to decide if I’ve reached an amount of success for my generation.
I’ve always been told success meant one of two things—monetary reward or personal fulfillment. It even comes out in my defacto response when people raise their eyebrows when I talk about my history degree. I say, “I decided to be happy and poor.” In that one sentence is an unconscious acceptance that one cannot receive monetary success as well as personal fulfillment. But does a job provide personal fulfillment?
The work-world has undergone quite a bit of criticism in the last four years. COVID changed how people brought themselves to work, revolutionized the acceptance of bringing your whole self to work, and opened discussions about mental health and work. Then Gen Z began to enter the workforce. I love my generation. We question everything, including workplace norms. “Lazy Girl Jobs” swept the internet. Boundaries were prioritized. Jobs are meant to be one of the many pieces on the journey of finding yourself that includes travel and friendships and self-care. Many people in my generation online seem quite content to not use their job to find personal success—they actively discourage it even.
I don’t know if I am that kind of person. I am not a ‘Lazy Girl Job’ girlie. I get too invested. I care about every aspect of my work—whether its paid or unpaid (I do have quite the knack for working for free). I do not do the bare minimum, and I am concerned with all aspects of a project. It’s gotten me into a tiff at work because I care about my work so much. Logically, I know that I should not find all my happiness in my work. Thank God, I don’t…I think.
Happiness and success are two different things. Usually. There are several Lifetime and Hallmark movie plots about the successful but unhappy businesswoman or lawyer or tech startup employee (they really updated with the times) who impulsively gives it up to find happiness usually in the form of a stereotypical hunk of a man from some sort of blue-collar background. The woman cannot be happy and successful. She must choose.
Of course, the moral of the woman’s storyline is that she was chasing monetary and career-oriented success before she realized those things don’t matter, but family and love do. Ugh. There are so many things problematic about that life lesson.
So, where do I find success? Is it measured in the connections I make, and the people I serve as a librarian? It made my month to know that I was helping put some pep in Miss Thelma’s step by helping her with her book and her upcoming photo exhibit. Helping Phil create his platform for his book also brought a smile to my face, seeing his website and Facebook page gain following is one of the highlights of my month. That is the definition of personal satisfaction success. And look at that, it is tied directly to my work.
While I love this definition of success, there is a nagging at the back of my head related to how I can have that definition of success. I am very fortunate to be able to continue to mooch off my parents while I am starting my career. My parents let me live with them rent free. My car is paid off. I have parent-subsidized groceries (i.e. my mom or dad pick up approximately half my grocery bill). This is not because I ask them to, by the way. I feel like I need to make that very clear how much it annoys me that I cannot live on my own. I am making a therapist very rich as I work through that annoyance. The upside to that situation is that I do not worry about money. Money is not the backbone of my being. It doesn’t have to be because of the privileged position I am in. My measure of success therefore does not have to be tied to ‘making it’ in society. So, then is my personal satisfaction definition of success, a valid goal? In an extrapolated context, is personal satisfaction success a valid self-help guru advocated goal for most people, or is it inherently blind to the reasons others cannot measure their success in such a way?
In terms of happiness, it is a valid goal. My happiness should not be tied to what I make, and that is a very privileged thing to say. Fulfillment does not necessarily have to come from a job, but what it might allow you to do overall. Because I tied up my definitions of happiness and success, I create a quagmire of privilege and awareness of said privilege and feasibility. My success could come from the recognition I feel for myself or receive from others related to my work, and my work could bring me happiness. I enjoy helping people achieve their goals and working on socially impactful historical projects.
I don’t think success can be tangible in your twenties. Just figuring out how you define these things can count as a step toward success for the future. I might just be representative of Gen Z in that way.